My tears for you

This poem is written for the lord my God. Although i cannot feel him, but i know he is still there waiting for me to call upon his name. What i have written in this poem, will show how much i really want to feel God and also my personal struggles and the things i am holding back in my life.

I write this song becasue this is the first time in service i could feel God, i can sense that he know all my everything in my life and he want to help me to change. So I was very touched by what God wants to do in life. Therefore, i couldn't hold back my tears, so i cried it out.
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My Tears For You

All of my days, i cannot feel you,
All of my days, i am drained,
All of my days, i wanted to give up,
All of my days, i held back.

Where are you my lord,
Can you feel my heartbeat,
I am feeling unloved, negelected and taken for granted,
Still i hold on to that feelings, refuse to let go.

I denied myself,
I lied to myself,
I cover up myself,
to make myself think that you love me.

I wanted to hold on to my feelings,
I wanted someone to notice,
I wanted them to see how i actually feeling,
But they just don't get it.

Till so long, the pain and weight,
Pull my heart down,
making it harden.
The unwillingness of letting it go.

Many times i care for people,
They just say thank you, the next moment they forget about me.
Some even just say that they don't need my care.
Some will dig my care just to fill themselves up.

Upon knowing that, i hide my feeling.
I lied to myself, that i am not hurt.
I still said, 'its ok'.
I still showed a smile to them.

When acutally,
blades of knifes and sharp swords penterate,
Acids and salt is added into the wounds,
high pressure is induced into my core of my heart.

This is how i feel.

But after responding to you,
I poured out to you,
you have changed my heart,
you took away my pain and hurt.

I was so moved,
I was so touched.
My eyes watered,
Tears slowly flowed down.

My harden heart, was soften.
My pain heart, was taken away.
My wounded heart, was healed.
My God, I really thank you.
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Touched, moved and fragail heart