imperfect person, imperfect character, Lover of the perfect

End for now??

2008-11-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

i guess from now on i will not blog so much about me already :0 how? hahax anyway to those people whom i really treasure alot, you all should know lah. Do your best in everything because is God's gift to you. Love to your best, take oppounity, be humble and always seek to learn new things, be excited for more tough challanges.

most importantly, let God accept God into your heart truely and live with him. Amen.

The end already. dont know will i still write this blog or not. :)

i just cannot stop thinking

2008-07-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

sheeps, wonder are you sleeping peacefully or not. hopefully is, well actually i cannot sleep becasuse i keep thinking of you all.

The Bittergourd story

2008-07-01T01:29:00.000-07:00

Well, recently i just bought some bittergourd to eat, i think i still do not like to eat bittergourd after 3 to 4 years after the last time i eat bittergourd. But i have a reason to eat bittergourd to actually to destress somehow, and also to remind myself not to give up as a sheperd for my people, no matter how much bitter i face from taking care from my sheep i will still continue to persever on and use my heart to love them.

Also i am lighten abit everytime i eat bittergourd. Maybe you should give it a try.

what i realise

2008-06-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well really thank God Nel and kokleng took the effort to come to my house and talk to me. Really appericate them. I hope next time i am the one going to their house and other people's house. So that i can experience what they have gone through.

I realise that i should talk to much and say too much reguarding my sheep's growth. Becasue it is only God who is going to touch their heart and grow them not me saying saying and saying, just also want to make things clear and i am not condemning anyone, but i just want to say, if you want to Grow with God, you will have questions to ask and also face somethings in your life in other ways.

But till now, non of my sheep's actually called and talk to me about their problems that they face, so i ASSUME that they are AlRIGHT and doing spiritually fine, if they concern about their concern about their spiritual life and they face no problems then i am fine with it, but if is the other way round i don't see the point why they don't come and talk to me.

But anyway, if the more you all don't need my help please just tell me, DON'T just keep quiet and do nothing. Take the first step. Take ownership of your spiritual life.

Your quietness will just hurt my heart.

I really hope that you can see this

2008-06-25T03:11:00.001-07:00

Sheeps, i wondering what you all are doing now? Well if you all are stressed up or you just need someone to talk to PLEASE PLEASE call and talk to me, and this is the last time i am going to say this already.

I still miss you sheeps.

I know you all have changed by God bit by bit day by day, i pray that you all will capture God's heart, God's burdern in your heart. So that you can understand God's purpose for you in your life.

From today, i am not going to say anything already, because i feel that i am so naggy, after saying so so so many times, i blog this not to condemn you all but i am begining to feel irritated by what i say. I should just keep quiet and not say anything anymore.

But still i still LOVE you, i still care for you in my heart, although i may feel hurt at times, but i shall keep quiet and let me suffer in my heart.

A short quote in my heart

My joy is being able to go though what you going through,
My smile is when you say things that actually hurt me,
My pain is when you alway refuse my gift to you.

My hurt is when you do not spent time with God,
My sour is when you say you do not know,
My sadness is when you actually do not understand God and still doing nothing about it

My tears for you is when actually you are in the mids of happiness and joy.
My tears for you is when i am at home, thinking about you.
My tears for you is when i see that you do not even know how much i gave up for you.

I really hope that my sheep can see how i really feel about them. But i know they dont even bother about other people becasue they are too busy doing their own things already. Still i Love them, i love.

This is the best that i can do

2008-06-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

God i just pray that my sheep will really understand, how much i really love them. God if they have any stress or anything that they cannot take it i pray that you will let me experience it with them, cast any of the events which are happening to them towards me Lord, i am willing to experience with them and to go through it with them Lord. I have faith that in whatever situation you will be with me.

Even, right now as they are happily living in their lives, i pray that you will take away my priviliage to help me to understand their needs and the care that i have for them.

Be it family problem which they have, or and stress that they are have in their mind i pray that you will cast it on me, i pray that you will give take those away from them and put it in me so that i can suffer with them and understand how they feel.

God i know nothing will come back to me NOTHING no affirmation i will recieve nothing Lord but i want to do it for you. I pray you help me Go through Lord. I commit all this to you. AMEN.

father's day

2008-06-14T22:55:00.001-07:00

well today me and my family are going out to celebrate father day at a orchard restruant well quite excited about it hopefully everything is going well and smooth. Also i have decided to tell my family that i have a blog and they can actually come at have a look.

Wow this is the first time i open up my life to my family.

Just want to wish my father have a healthy life, lesser anger and also be more understanding towards what i am doing in my life.

Prayer for my father - Lord i just pray for my father that he can continue to lead this family well and i thank you for giving him into this family that whatever things had already happen, he will always pull us together to slove problems and having wonderful time talking to one anther in our life. i pray for him for this healthy life and is anger to be lesser. Thank you lord and i commit my family onto you. AMEN.

Years down the road

2008-06-10T07:34:00.000-07:00

hummm how many of you all actually think about the years down the road of your life and what you would actually face. Well for me i have already thought of it and currently acting upon it in my life right now.

I really pray that God will see my heart that i want to use my hands and mind to heal people physically and to use me to minister to people spiritually in their life. I want to give my life to edify other people's life.

Of cause not forgetting about my marriage in the future. Not troubled but, just abit concern. Currently i am seeking not totally waiting, because adam also ask for God for his Spouse eve.

Li Qiang

2008-05-28T03:21:00.001-07:00

Hey a very happy birthday to you yesterday hope you like the cake i gave you humm kelly really want to affirm that you are very independent , and have your own opinion. ok thats all from kelly

well as for me, i really hope that you will come to know God as soon as possible and join us as a member, i really treat you as my sheep in my heart already, i really want you to experience the love of God in this Care Group that you currently in and also i hope that after you have recieve chirst into your life, you will truely experience how much God love's you.

also hope that you have a goal in life that really motivate you to do things and to love ppl around you.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that gave his one and only Son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 14:6
Jesus answered, ' I am the way and the truth and the life. no one comes to the Father except through me.'

Finally happy 18th birthday.

Do you have bears?

2008-05-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Galatians 6 - Bear Each Other's burden

1) Bear your hearts to people around you = Openess
- check if you have people around you who can ask you hard questions
- need some truth teller to help you

2) Bear Hug/ Proximity
- grow and do life together
- spend time together
- dun be a lone ranger
- we are called to do fellowship

3) Bear with one others

- sometime is unbearable, but still have to BEAR.

a) Within Our Group
- organize events within own caregroup, like going out of movie events, outings
b) With other group
- interact with other groups like adults, family so that you are able interact more and learn more

today

2008-05-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

well today was quite alright for me that thing in my heart was slowly relasing and also really glad that God really help me through by placing such fun friends around me, and also lessons could really help me forget what about thoughts that would discourage me and will pull me down, am i listening to lessons thats why this is happening? well me sheeps is still the same, but i really want to see some improvement after this week, i know kelvin have been busy with projects and i think i should really meet some of his physical needs. As for pengsheng, i need to show him more of God's word that will encourage him and to build his foundation up. Job, i think emotional need will be a good one for him, but how to show emotional needs? being therefore him talking to him is enough?

recently borrowed some books in library and one of them is psychology from scripture. well is a very good book (how to think more spiritually to solve everyday problems) ephesians 4:23

well hope that my sheeps will continue to build their foundation of their spiritual life together with me and will not forget what i taught them through the spirit, becasue i will give them a test next week.

PG, FOS, SE, DM
FATS

2 corinthians 12:9-10

but he said to me, ' my grace is suffenient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardship, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when i am weak, then i am strong.

One thing

2008-05-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

God i just hope that you can do one thing right now for me is to restore my heart and heal me. I really cannot take it anymore i want to shout and start banging the wall le sobs.

This week

2008-05-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well as you all know, common test is coming very soon and also project due dates and getting closer and closer, but never mind i can do all things through chirst (phillians 4:13).

recently come across this quote

The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Flourish Is For Good Men To Do Nothing
Edmund Burke

I think what he say is very true, is just like if something is hindering your relationship God are you going to do nothing about it? or just leave it there and do nothing and let Evil flourish and creep into your life? GOT TO DO SOMETHING MAN and don't just sit there and do nothing.

No school today

2008-05-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

today there is no school for me well quite happy, and mixture of sad too. But notheless i can spend more time with God and also my school work. Recently, I have read from the book of John to the Book of Romans in just 2 and a half weeks, the biggest breakthrough in my life, in my chirstian walk with God.

Well becasue the word is just too important, anyway, there are joys and breaks during this 2 and 3 weeks of my chirstian walk, but still i am standing strong in the lord. Not letting thing to affect me. After reading John and Acts, i could really understand the importants of the holy spirit in my life.

Really hope to quickly read until the book of revelations this month and start reading job....... and all the wisdom books followed by prophecy. really glad that i attended the hope sem, OT1 benefitted alot of perspective from there and can understand more when i read to OT.

well i am also reminded that, is my relationship is as close as some of the brothers and sisters in church compared to he lord, well i think i have drifted quite away from him and havent have a long long talk with God humm someday i would do it on the train.

Behavior and intelligence of a sheep

2008-04-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

Sheep can recognize individual human and ovine faces, and remember them for years.
So do we recognize our sherperd?

Relationships in flocks tend to be closest among related sheep
Is our relationships in the care group (CG) close?

All sheep have a tendency to congregate close to other members of a flock, although this behavior varies with breed.
Do we congregated close to our CG members?

Sheep become highly stressed when separated from their flock members
Do we feel stressed when we separated from one another a CG mates?

tomorrow is the day

2008-04-13T05:20:00.000-07:00

School starting soon, few more hours, well i still have things not cleared up in my room and thoughts have not settled down. Just hope that when the new semester comes, not only converts is expected but i want to grow even greater than now, i need to endure.

Tomorrow is the start of the test in my life. Am i even ready?

I will not always be ready, but for one thing i know is that God is waiting to move in my life when the school term starts. Where is my focus?

I want to learn how to focus on God's Love and God himself.

What i really feel like doing?

2008-04-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

Actually deep down in my heart, i just really hope that i can always be by my sheep, standby for them if anything really do happens, i really want to be the first one for them, regardless they see it or not. Sometimes i really pray that God will watch over their lives, I just want to talk to them, give them spiritual impartation useful in their future walk with God next time, or even in their next life station.

God i am really helpless, i don't know what to do, but i don't want to sit down and do nothing. Teach me more in life. I need to go through with you more, I need to go through hard times with you God, I need to have a breakthrough in my life, I need to do so much things with you God. I need to experience true love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

So many NEEDS in me.

So many things suddenly

2008-04-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

This few days have been thinking so many things in my mind becasue now i am 18 coming 19 years old already, and my target of getting married is at prefered before 27. Also given myself 3 to 4 years to know my future spouse. Till now quite alot of suitable ones for me has appeared in my life already, it really make me think that my stardard is actually low or i am not really intrested in my life partner.

Also coming 19 already, still don't have a personal bank account, abit funny. Should i start telling my mother about it?

What about my new house? The place i am going to work in? Will i be able to study medicent in NUS or getting a Nursing Masters? When should i start to have a Girlfriend? Go which country to plant a church?

So so many things to wonder about, and seriously is becoming more and more near and realistic in my life right now what should I do? Should I just leave it as it is and wait until the things really set foot in my life then i start pondering about it, seriously in really hinders my growth in God.

Do it mean that i leave it all to God i can stop pondering about all this things which are yet to come? Sometimes i just feel like just end my life quickly to go and meet God faster, but i know i cannot i cannot. there is so much things for me to go and do.

Just want to cry le. haiss

Word of love

2008-04-08T08:30:00.001-07:00

Today i when out with Kelly wanted to spend my QT hahax and guess what. God spoke to me alot today and he even convicted me to really humble myself to submit and partnership with him. Even is not the best, but still i do it for him.

About sherperds - Luke 2:8

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.

how much God's word can really change your life - Luke 2:35

so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.

Willingness can help your ministry to grow - Luke 5:13

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. " I am willing," he said. " Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him.

picking up courage and leading and correcting people - Luke 7:6-8

HUMBLE

So Jesus went with them. He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: " Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed.

LEADER OF MEN, SERVANT OF GOD

For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me, I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes: and that one, 'come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."

What happened

2008-04-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

After spending time evluating myself today, God reminded me about Love with actions VS Love without actions, He showed me a image of a movie where by the father do not know how to love his son, but still he tried to love him by buying things which he didn't really like for him, in the end after many times quaralling with his son, his father died becasue of a incident by rolling down the stairs.

Well this taught me about somethings like even of you dont know how to love,at least do something even if is not the best still do it, this shows you put in effort to love rather than sitting at a place doing nothing, that is still nothing, really thank God for reminding me about that.

Another thing which God remind me is about my life before Chirstian, before i became chirstian, i remember i once said that even i have to die i want to die for people, like pushing the person away before the get banged by the car, like scarifce for them and help them to live on with the life that they have.

selfless love for people

I think God reminded me that i have this quaility in my life that i can live it out by giving my all not considering myself but others first in my CG.

God really thanks for showing me and help me understand what i should do

Burdern

2008-04-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

today after service i am like super frustrated with the CG i thought the teaching will reach deep down in their hearts and to really triger some burdern their heart. When i was doing MM up there i have so much joy and also so thankful that God allow this time to speak into people hearts.

one thing really hit me is that am i willing to take up the courage to correct my people, to ask questions which will make them think even more.

- Do you Love your CG?
- Do you bother about your brother's life?
- Do you just come to CG and have fun and just forget about what you have responded during service?

today's teaching is a really wake up call to all the brother's who take CG for fun, who takes CG that is a place where by people whom are accepting and take for granted, who takes CG just only an event in their lifes.

They are all wrong.

i just pray that God will help them realise their mistakes and to continue to humble themselves to be used by you God. Just help them to get over all this dirt and to give them a renewed life :D

what is life all about

2008-03-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

first got to ask yourself what is the purpose of your life? God why am i fullfilling your purpose in my life in Matthew 28? is it for the sake Lord? therefore i do it? then why i am trying so hard to love my people? am i not loving enough? sometimes i just want to say I GIVE UP, but no i know is not a good choice, becasue you didnt gave up on me isnt it?

well even if people may seem to fail me but Lord i just ask of your strength to help me continue this race together with me. Help me not to get distracted and to Love your people more and more till the extend that i maybe come whatever you want me to become.

right now if i have a wish, i only want that all my 3 sheep right now under God will grow in the will of God and will mature in the name of God and nothing else more.

Ang Kok Leng, Issac

2008-02-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

Today is my sherperd's birthday, just want to say that sorry that i cannot attend your birthday in the DMM becasue i need to study. But notheless, i just want to also affirm you through my blog that I can really see your Love and faithfulness and a Loving brother who seeks God and please him. Really want to learn from you alot and alots of things, I just can feel that God is using you to build my 2nd level of my spiritual life so help me to build upon it, i also hope that you will find me a rather a hard sheep than a simple and easy sheep, becasause in this way i will not grow, i want to recieve displine and the Lovely correction that you give from God. so that i will not only grow but also to understand how you really love me when you correct me.

I think my word to say I love you is not enough to express how much i really honor and treasure you as my sherperd and i also believe my actions also will not enough, but only by how much i really give to Him and to his people. So that your goal of 50 and my goal of 20 will reach, i believe by faith God will surely put our relationship into testing and into growth in depth and is width and in hight.

I will continue to pray for your Group and you that God will use you to lead us into what he desired us to be. So lets us be strong in the lord, feed one another with spiritually healthy foods and with LOVE the core of all things the CORE of all the start of everything. Also with increasingly challanges that we can give one another.

Lastly, i want to thank you for Giving your best to the group, and continue to love this group and extend your love too. THANKS.

The group

2008-02-16T07:07:00.000-08:00

Well i have been praying recently about the group, and today as i go to service, there was a response time, well i go to pastor jasmine to pray for me about my studies and also for my group that i want to give my best and my all to the group that i am now. Also this is what i want to give my sherperd. i want to give him my all as how much i give to God, i trust God that he will use Kok Leng to train me up into another CL. hehex.

also for this birthday, i really hope Kok Leng will feel a personal touch from me. becasue i really love him as a sheperd and i also really hope to spend time with him knowing him as a personal level not as a leader level.

NP3 i really want to see that we are involve one another's life. Just remember that event though they are not revelant to your life they are your family memebers. Start praying for one another.

At least one is still praying i hope the rest join me too

sherperd and sheep

2008-02-12T10:26:00.000-08:00

since my sherperd blog about me, well i also love my sherperd I LOVE KOK LENG sherperd. I hope my sheep will love me too.

Stressed, tired and things are going against me.

2008-01-22T20:19:00.000-08:00

well recently so many things had affect me, like my sleep, my personal walk with God, my own breakthoughs, my relationship with my family, I feeling so fatiuge nowadays. Seriously, i feel like i want to slap or punch that person if they come and irritate me.

Well i admit that i am very restless and at times i am thinking should i just let all my feelings out? or just keep it inside my heart? I know there is always a reason for this to happen, but I really pray that God will really walk together with me closer to pull me through this Semester, becasue I've got so many things to do like projects, studies, shepherding and like CG stuff.

I also want to admit that at times, i really want to give up sherperding all my sheeps. Because i want to do my own things as well. Not only that sometimes, i would blame myself or argue inside my heart that if i have made the correct decision. I at times i really want to be a normal christian who serves only at a member level not a like a high leadership position like CL, UL or SDL.

But what should I do, i really don't know. Sometimes the responses of my sheeps discourages me or hurt me. Should i just truely tell them straight at their face or should i just hide it and tell it all to GOd? At times i just feel like crying in the bath room or in my own personal room or even when i am sleeping all this worries, burning burdern and other things are creeping in to me.

I know God is placing challanges onto me, i really hope that through this time, i really can pull through and give thanks to God in the end of the journey.

What is Fellowship?

2008-01-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

well what is really fellowship about? how do we really fellowship? why do we fellowship? Where and when do we fellowship? what is the time frame for fellowship? Do we apply fellowship in our lives? how do we apply it?

firstly we got to understand that, why do we have a CG in church?

Next you can also read up (hebrews 10:25)

well i really hope to see that more things will improve in my CG, people i dont want to meet just only for sherperdings, CG or any other meeting. I want to be in your life, just as how jesus meet his people, Jesus didnt really give them sherperding but instead he is teaching life and changing, transfroming his people's lifes, you can also see that Jesus and is people are very close close. Can my CG do that? Can? haiss

first day of school

2008-01-02T03:34:00.000-08:00

actually today nothing much, just go for SW and thats all hahax then go visit my ex-ex-sheep hhahax didnt know he face so much trouble in his CG as well but its ok.

Well we should learn to grow ourselves as well

Lets go and touch people hearts, by this term i want to see Edwin chan and kelvin chan cross over the line.

Continue to see hope and lead a displine life

2007-12-24T22:11:00.000-08:00

well currently i don't see hope in my nursing studies, because all my results it came out it doesn't meet all my expectations. Well no doubt, me life is doing well like, having more friends, good family members who constantly bless me with the money and the shelter that i need, haiss. it alright i am going to live a displine life.

any by the way, if you want me to blog more, please bugg me ok? thanks

carpenter

2007-11-20T03:21:00.000-08:00

well today going to write something about carpenter. Before that, i will update what i have been doing this pass few weeks. Well recently, very tired and also so much things to handle, like handling my thought against getting into relationship in a young and unstable age, sheeps, studies care group and many other more.

Besides, i have done reading the book 'I kissed dating goodbye', that book was great, recommend those people who want to get into relationship people in the future to read it to get a head start on what is about a bibical relationship. One of the important part I've learn is

The joy if intimacy is the reward of commitment

On the other hand, i am reading this book given by Yi Wei as my birthday present, Lessons from the carpenter. Well after reading the first chapter i think is super interesting and i have learn alot from the book and some of the questions really keep me thinking like:

- why is it a carpenter and not anything else
- the character of a carpenter
- how and why can a carpenter do a better job in character training

so many things to think about.

hahax well thats all for today.

Hope that all my sheeps are doing well in their life ( hey sheep share more to me ). You 3 will always be in my mind, God will always be in my heart.

Why would I do when I can choose to give up?

2007-11-10T11:49:00.000-08:00

Well this question, was asked by march when i was going home after movie on friday at TM. Really glad that this question was surfaced again and again through different people i know, it really can assure me that i am doing the right thing and this will surely touch people heart around me.

Many times, I really want to give up serving God's Kingdom, and to go to a worldly place to do the things i like, that i please. I really want to get involve into a relationship RIGHT NOW. But, i choose not to do it, becasue i know is not the right time and besides i need to take care of my sheeps which is very important to me so that's why I CHOOSE NOT TO DO IT.

Nothing Beats willingness and the choice you've made in your life. Like for many times, i dont want to sherperd my sheep, i dont really want to take up more people, i dont really want to spend time with them, i dont i dont, so many i dont. But of all I don't, i Choose to do the opposite things.

As well as the people out there whom i spend time with, I really appericate your time with me and your trueness of your life towards me, is the best gift i can ever get in my life. Really.

And March, i really hope that you can come back to God and don't church hop anymore, i don't know why would i have this burdern for you, but i know that God is waiting for you and he yearns for you to be back to him. I think this is the holy spirit proming in my heart to have such burdern for you.... but i am sure he have a great plan for you in church. Don't get lost, remember there is always someone more burdern then me for you in your life. Come back to him. No ofference :D

Sheeps i really hope you would really read my blog and talk to me about your life ok? If not i cannot help you to grow, love talking to you all. I really Love you from the bottom from my heart.

2 touching acts God and people

2007-10-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

Well today was a tireding day for me and i still push to lead the worship that i was appointed to. i hope i did at least get some people ministered in my CG, and after CG we when to eat dinner. I really thank God that he used Kelvin to bless me with the bread left over from the holy. Although, its left over but i am very very touched by what he gave me. I really was touched, when we reached makansutra, all the CG members was eating their dinner and i was very tired then, job gave me his coffee and i didn't expected that he would give me. Well i can really say thank God for my sheeps for blessing me although we don't talk that much, but still you care for me. Thanks to all.

Not forgetting God, he really gave me strength to lead the worship and i cannot do without his strength and i really that God that he gave me his love, his kindness, his assureance and many other more. I just want to shout - I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU, PLEASE GUIDE AND GUARD ME.

Inward or outward?

2007-10-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Am i too inward in my spirit and my passion for people?
Am i placing myself in high value that i want people to notice me?
Am i losing my passion for the lost souls out there, and only working towards numbers?
Am i always looking into myself and the result that i expected?
Am i expecting too much?

Too much things to ponder about hope that his will really grow me and not pull me down, i need someone to guide me and correct me if i am wrong. God talk to me in all this areas of my life. I want to grow. See a change in my life.

CLOSER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.

Why should i serve God? PUSH factor?

2007-10-05T21:05:00.001-07:00

well this question really hit my heart, many of you all out there will give standard answer like, becasuse i want to impact life, God really love me, he die for me, want to be leader, etc.

But the truth is that isn't god grace the push factor that you serve him? is not how much you do but is how much you really understand god grace works in this world. Really take some time to ponder about this question. Especially, those who are leaders and those who really want to impact life through God annointing.

Reaching new souls, perserving old ones

2007-08-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

New souls - attachment people who are going to know me through attachment
- Edwin chan(HSN)
- Kelvin chan(HSN)
- Boon hua
- De Xian

old souls - me ( hao hao)
- kelvin Toh (sheep sheep)
- Jolene Tan ( sheepmate)
- Ze Jun ( sherperd)

pray and fast
spending apporate time for one another
pray for non-believers and sheep and sherperd and sheepmate
understand and know them during this time
no slacking
no giving up
do more evluation of myself with God
shout halleujah and amen and praise God
new things to fast - update on later day
Love, faith, peace, joy, persever, speak and act in faith

Defeated once again, Victory is coming.

2007-08-20T03:48:00.000-07:00

Well today I have been defeated again by the lustful thoughts of my own mind and flesh. This shows one thing that i need to grow more. GROW UP LAR. Well i am going to fast on this area of my life that i will have a breakthrough.

Fast against the devil and my flesh

abstain from - all drinks but only normal water
abstain from - using computer for less then 30mins strictly no internet unless chatting or blogging or checking school things
abstain from - fast food and foodcourt food
abstain from - more then 4 hours of sleep
waking up early and spent time with God
pray for myself against the devil temptations

What drives your life?

2007-08-13T09:52:00.000-07:00

Actually this question really hit me on the dot. Because when i do my own evaluation at least 2 times a week, when i look back what i have evaluated, i found out that nothing drives me and i am like living a purposeless life just like without Christ. Sometimes i would just like do things out of guilt, fear and approval.

And i myself know that it shouldn't be that way, i should do things because of the lord, because for you have forgiven so you shouldn't feel guilty (Psalm 32 : 1), God love you there for fear is cast away (1 John 4 : 18) and finally, God accepts who you are as you were made by him there for you have already been approve (Matthew 12 : 18) by God.

Lord i want to learn how to apply what i have learn in my life, i admit that i have not been walking right with you i agree with you that i have drifted away from your word, but lord i want to keep in touch with you i want learn for your word, help me to love you to praise you to worship you despite in any circumstance. Lord i know i am weak, but in you i am strong, so lord use me to shine your light to he people around me. Give me the strength to fast to do the things that i don't like so that i will be reminded that how much you have suffered for me for your people. Lord i call upon your name i need you I NEED YOU. HELP. HELP.
T.T

Remember - Matthew 26 : 41

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Watch and pray - Keep guard of yourself
will not fall into temptation - prayerful(seeking help from God) life cast away the devil
Spirit is willing - the spirit is intune with God
body is weak - no strength beacasue it will fade one day compare to the spirit.

Spirit is willing, but the body is weak
Persist and pray continue just like a bullet once it goes out it will never stop, keep the ball rolling, fire burning, don't stop your prayer, for onces it stop the devil is capable of hunting you down.

Spirit is with me, break me mould me grow me.

2007-08-11T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today the usual same thing happen, which i dont like ahhhhh. Those who are really close with me will know. But, i want to change if not i cannot move i know it shouldn'e be like that, is my human nature i want to fight back FIGHT BACK.

Next week for Kelvin Goals and purpose

bath in Cold water - remind me of the perserverance despite of many disapperication
abstain from fast food - remind the things that i need to give up for him and God
abstain from soft drinks and western food - remind that i need to provide or bless his needs

Personal goal

Grow in the word, application
spent more time with God - QT/prayer/worship
peronal breakthrough on SIN

Is not how you look at me, i want to know you lord,

you said ' I am your creator. You were in my care even before you were born'

I know you have great plans for me.

But now just help me to get those thinking correct.

I don't want to be trapped or cling on it anymore.

God help me to take this thinking away, it may affect my growth in you,

help me to focus my eyes onto you. HELP ME. HELP.

God the center of my life

2007-08-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

After reading the book purpose driven life from rick warren really learn alot and really understand what God what for me in my life and not what i want from myself

Life is about letting God use you for his purpose, not you using him for your own purpose.

God is not just the starting point of your life, but the source of your life.

Colossians 1:16b (MSG)
Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him

After reading this, it really makes me think about my life with God and some of the questions are - who is the corner stone of your life?
- are you depending on him?
- are you taking his grace for granted?
- do i still place my faith and trust in him?
- what about my prayer life, strong or weak?

well i guess i still have alot more areas to grow in chirst.

Lord please help me to grow in the areas of my life that i need to related to the questions, i want to serve you more i want to know you more, i want to taste your Goodness and tell people and help them experience about your greatness of them lord i pray that you can help me HELP me lord i am weak but with you i am strong lord thank you lord in jesus name amen.

God be with me

2007-08-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

Stepping out of my confort zone,
Correcting you = my care for you
i dont like to do this to you,
but your attuide need to change.

Remember is not my pleasure,
is not my type,
but in order to move,
I have to do this to you.

i will say what i want to you,
show you God's standard.
I will be a little 'harsh'
Dont take it to your heart for i CARE FOR YOU

From: RUI hao
To: someone he really cares

Same today not the same 2molo

2007-06-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

I am going to make a great change in NP3,
So come on challenge me.

So what if you think i am wrong,
I am doing it for God not for you.
I love my CG so i am doing it.

I make sure that the devil will not spoil my plan,
for this plan is annoited by God no by man.

NP3 there i come,
Don't stop me but guide me,
Don't pull me but push me,
I am going to move and push the group.

all my strength + god strength.

If don't move i assess, even it is only one person
i am willing to stop, we move together as a whole,
not alone.

Vision of NP3 = Love increase
desire to care for one another
serving God 100%
fruitfulness ( last priority)
saturated Souls
SOUL of compassion

To him

2007-05-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

You never failed me,
always looking down from heaven.
Watching where i go,
even if i were to fall,
you will catch me,
pull me up high.

putting me into where i belong.

At times i forget who am i,

i have forgot my plans in life,

but you always came down,

and reminded me,

my purpose and whom i belong to.

As the time passes too fast,

you slowed my down,

bringing my view to a beautiful view,

reminded me of your grace and mercy.

Now how much of me worth of your grace.

For i know that worth is priceless.

You filled me with your love water,

but i used it up too fast,

the group need more love,

so i used it up alone.

you never failed to contine to pour your love out.

but i want bigger love tank can you give me?

I worn out easily,

but you are there for me,

you unfailing love and care.

_________________________________

L - Learn

O - Openness

V - Very excited

E - Evluate each other

Openess

2007-05-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

O - Over cover
P - protection
E - endure
N - Not neglective
N - Not judgemental
E - enjoyment
S - Something confidental
S - Something special

people out there dare to open up your life to the people whom you trust the most for they are the best friends that you can ever have.

Me

2007-05-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Time please stop,
then i can stop doing so much things at one go,
I want time for myself,
I want.

If i would to leave this world,
going to the place where i suppose to go,
Will you still keep me in courts?
Will you still shield and protect me?

If i would to run till the ends of the earth,
who will see me? but only you.
Who would care to notice me? but only you.

I know you are there,
I cannot sense you,
I cannot feel your spirit,
I cannot feel your closeness.

Where are you?
I am fallen.
I need you.
I NEED YOU.

But where?where?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
____________________________________

smiles, but broken within

Song to you

2007-05-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

This is written to someone who is very important in my life and he had make a huge change in my life. This person is special to me, though i cannot see him or touch him, but i know that he is always there for me looking down from the above. Guiding my life, the each and every step i take, holding my hands tight preventing me from falling down the holes.

I really love you, so have strong hands on me.
Hold me tight, never let it go.
Wash over me, clean me though.
Only 3 words

I LOVE YOU
______________________________________

Encouraged and loved

I, Me, Myself

2007-05-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

I
I am
I am just a nobody
I am just a nobody who loves to help.

Who
Who will
Who will look at me
Who will look at me, accept Him?

I really care about you,
Do I deserve the attuide you gave me?
Should I show resentment upon you?
Or slapping myself for who I am?

Myself
Myself who no one notices
Myself who let people take for granted
Myself who is willing to scarfice my time for you.

He who knows me,
I ask you,
have I wasted all these while,
by doing what I suppose to do?

I am such a let down in my eyes,
I am worthless but you treat me as Gold,
I am powerless yet you annointed me,
Am I so important to you.

My pride,
My lustfulness,
My ill-motiveness,
Can you purge them away?

Can you just look on to me?
For only one time?
Clean me and change me,
For I want to live again, in your eyes.

_________________________________________

Hurt and hyperless

My tears for you

2007-04-28T09:11:00.001-07:00

This poem is written for the lord my God. Although i cannot feel him, but i know he is still there waiting for me to call upon his name. What i have written in this poem, will show how much i really want to feel God and also my personal struggles and the things i am holding back in my life.

I write this song becasue this is the first time in service i could feel God, i can sense that he know all my everything in my life and he want to help me to change. So I was very touched by what God wants to do in life. Therefore, i couldn't hold back my tears, so i cried it out.
___________________________________________________________
My Tears For You

All of my days, i cannot feel you,
All of my days, i am drained,
All of my days, i wanted to give up,
All of my days, i held back.

Where are you my lord,
Can you feel my heartbeat,
I am feeling unloved, negelected and taken for granted,
Still i hold on to that feelings, refuse to let go.

I denied myself,
I lied to myself,
I cover up myself,
to make myself think that you love me.

I wanted to hold on to my feelings,
I wanted someone to notice,
I wanted them to see how i actually feeling,
But they just don't get it.

Till so long, the pain and weight,
Pull my heart down,
making it harden.
The unwillingness of letting it go.

Many times i care for people,
They just say thank you, the next moment they forget about me.
Some even just say that they don't need my care.
Some will dig my care just to fill themselves up.

Upon knowing that, i hide my feeling.
I lied to myself, that i am not hurt.
I still said, 'its ok'.
I still showed a smile to them.

When acutally,
blades of knifes and sharp swords penterate,
Acids and salt is added into the wounds,
high pressure is induced into my core of my heart.

This is how i feel.

But after responding to you,
I poured out to you,
you have changed my heart,
you took away my pain and hurt.

I was so moved,
I was so touched.
My eyes watered,
Tears slowly flowed down.

My harden heart, was soften.
My pain heart, was taken away.
My wounded heart, was healed.
My God, I really thank you.
__________________________________________________________

Touched, moved and fragail heart

2 weeks in Nee Ann Poly

2007-04-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well as you all know i am in nursing in Nee Ann and i though that nursing is easy to study. In fact, it is not. I therefore challange all my secondary schoolmates to take up nursing course and see how tough it is.

Basically, many things happen but i shall not disclose it as there is too much, i shall jump to important points.

During this week, i followed up kelvin Toh. Well, i teach him the teaching in a informal way because i don't want to make the teaching a boring thing but a intresting and learnable manner. Well, i was quite happy about that he share some of his weaknesses to me, but his attutide towards the teaching was like no attentive, like wanting to end the lesson quickly.

Well that discourages me a lot. But, i don't want to judge him.

Then i also meet my sheep, Rayiant, i am so proud of him that the manage to lead roles in Care Groups. Well the told me that this is the first time he lead holy com. After hearing that, i was overjoyed and glad that after for so long he finally got a chance to lead a spiritual stuff. Well although, he had many misunderstanding of the Holy com. But at least during sherperding i thought him the basics of holy com. Then he clarfied his doubts with me. Really happy to see him growing in the lord faithfully.

Besides that, during school time, i only know a little bit of friends, i was so sad and discouraged, then God gave me strength and courage to make more friends. I have made about 4 friends in my Lecture 2 groups, but with the addition of girls, about 15+ people i know in my lecture group. But the one thing i was very discourage about is that, i did not get anyone to go for the urban groove 2.

Never mind, God will make a way for me. All i need is put my trust in him.

Really hope to see kelvin Toh's attuide toward me change, i just feel like i cannot get close to him, even if i do i only get into the surface. God, what can i do please help me. I really care for him but why he kind of like reject my care for him?

Stressed up.

What i thought of you

2007-04-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

With a dryful heart i came,
to seek you,
but you make me wait,
you never fail me.

Your holy water cooled me,
from a dry and weary land.
My heart is fill with joy and peace,
Your security and love.

Everytime i have failed you,
guilt is there.
But instead of condemning me,
you forgive me.

What can i say to you,
to even thank you,
what can i say to you,
to even repay you.

But what i can do,
is to spread your love,
to love your children,
to do your great will.

Am i with man or with God?

2007-04-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

Am i serving man or God?
Am i happy with the things i have done?
Becasue people recongise me,
or is it becasue of God.

Do i really love God or love man?
for man is harder to love than God.

Doubtfulness

2007-04-14T09:12:00.000-07:00

Well as just now, as i talk to Zhi Qiang on msn, i asked him what he had learn during service. Then the told me, that he had learn something. Then i asked him so how do you apply the thing you have learn then he asked me to tell him how can he apply into his life. I was thinking, i am not you, how can i tell you.

The next moment, the said that he said that he finds both the application and learning point is illustrated what he had learn. Then i just want to remind him that. Learning is one thing and i means that you have this certain knowledge, but application is another thing which means you have wisdom to knowing when and how to apply the knowledge that you actually have learn.

In my mind i was like i accept that true there is application point in the learning point. Then i continued to ask him that the learn something else today. He told me that, he have to do something now so cannot share. I said, ( is up to you lah). I know it sounds angry to you, but you must know that its my way of expressing. Besides, since you said that, i will take not and change it for the better thanks.

But, i hope that you can also change, please take note also that i am trying to help you evalute yourself and your learnings during the teaching. Even though i am not your sheperd, but i still ask you becasue i want to help you grow in God, but instead you make me doubt myself.

You make me think that my message did not get across, you make me think that i cannot stand upright when i am a correcting you, you make me think that i am angry when you said that i am angry ( when i am actually not).

See you are making me doubting so much of myself. Just to remind you that i am not condemning you but you let you see how you have affected me so much.

About Jolene Tan Qi Ying

2007-04-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

Initial Impression

Well thought that you was quiet, those study very hard kind. But, during the camp see you talking so much, i have no choice but to say Chatterbox. Its really true, i know that you are a person who have lots of common topic to talk about. As soon as i know that you are my sheepmate, really want to know you better since we are in the same school.

Emotional Impression

Well not close to you, so cannot say much about that, but i will take out sometime to explore your emotional needs.

Spiritual Impression

Thinking that you are stong in faith, but you know say some spiritual stuff, so that you can minster to differnt people at times that you don't even know. Besides, also will take sometime out to explore your spiritual needs.

Affirmation

Really thank God that you are in my CG and course, becasue i have been praying for it quite sometime that i am worried that i cannot relate with the people there at nursing. But, God assured me that he will send help for me and you are the help and the encouragement that God had given to me so as to spur my consuming fire for God for people. Really thanks.

What am i going to do next

Well i might call you someday and talk to you for a long long long duration so as to know you better, beside i might help you spiritually unknowingly. Should be 2 times a week.
____________________________________________________________

Really hope that you don't mind me doing that.

Today at Nee Ann Poly

2007-04-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

This morning my shepherd, Zejun wake me up by calling my house at around 5am. Well right now i am feeling very tired. But, beacause i prayed to God that i need strength before i go out so how all thought i feeling physically tired but i am spiritually strengthen. Really want to thank god for that.

Besides, I really want to affirm my shepherd, Zejun that she use her printer to print out all the forms. As in like, who is willing to scarfice the printer ink. Really, i think i got to be more scarficial then before then God will pour more blessing upon my CG NP3 and my own spiritual life.

Then, when i reach the school, i walked around the school unfortunately not all but at least the half of the school. Then, my shepherd came with josephine and the other girl (sorry i don't know how to spell your name). We start off by praying that we will get much responsive fruits from the freshman and it did. I think basically God never fails us, he never forsake what we prayed, is up to us to believe it will be blessed by God or not.

then after 1 hour of doing those forms, josephine when to buy food and eat initially i want to give her my bread but she don't want, well its ok. Then we when to photocopy even more forms for the 4 to 6pm evanglising. Next, Vincent came with a super tired face. Well hope that he is ready for the later event.

Today's prayer:
I pray that, the lord will bless this NP group that there will be growth so that many people will be save by your grace. I pray that the people at NP will have the heart to really SOW on pontential people and lord please them with a willingful heart and a ready heart to do your work. AMEN.

New Shepherd and Sheepmate

2007-04-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

Today, very early in the morning, i took my dad's car to my new school Nee Ann Poly, then i walk toward LT 21 then i sat at the nearby bench reading a book called The Power Of A Praying Teen written by Stormie Omartian. I was so surprise that in such a short 30mins time i can read 2 chapters of the book.

Well i learn so much from the book today.

Well really must thank God that althought my shepherd was very tired, she still come and meet me. So touched. I hope that you have learn much during your meeting. Besides, i hope that you enjoyed the ice-cream and the fellowship too.

On top of that, i really can see my sheepmate heart to come and fellowship with us but she can't physically. Really Pray that God will heal her so that she can fellowship with me and shepherd, plus i can know her more in depth in terms of spiritually and emotionally.

Today i think my day is wisely spent, reading so much and it was like donkey years that i have done that. Learn so much things from the books and the word of God.

Thank God for ZeJun (mummy) and Jolene (sheepmate) for spenting their time with me amen.

Come give me strength

2007-04-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

My lord i have changed,
I feel that i am tired ,
For changing myself,
I want to change to my old self.

Lord i know i can't,
for you are moulding me,
Give me the strength to continue,
give me strength.

So i can continue the race,
of saving lifes for you,
I wish to stop doing this,
But i know i can't.

You have a great plan for me,
In my life,
your light is going to shine,
With great faith i believe.

So lord come give me strength,
Come give me the strength that i need,
I will humbly recieve with joy,
I will be flameboyant and powered by your strength.

A Talk With My New Shepherd

2007-04-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

Well today at around 1+ I called my new shepherd ZeJun and talk to her. We talk about so many things from the service to what God's plan for us. Well, i was so shocked that my new shepherd asked my how i think if her. But, i just truthfully answer how i thought of my new shepherd.

I think my shepherd and I enjoyed talking to each other. At least my new shepherd know how to lame with me and she affirm me of my good points. ( so touched yay haha). Although i never manage to say all her good points as i don't know my shepherd that well yet, I really hope that she also can feel appericated by me.

Then we come to a point that, after we poineeer nursing, we will go to a hospital and work. Then i sort of want to change the hospital culture by entertaining everyone and even to the extent of changing the hospital name to Hahaha hospital (not lame). Where by everyone will be happy and cheerful when they see each other everyone will hahaha to everyone and everyone will be happy.

Next is that to buy a 10000 X 10000 sq feet land space to build hope hospital and IR hope. With many things inside like Church service, Hope hospital, Church office and many more things inside.

As me and my new shepherd dwell amoung this, i can really have this vision that it will come to past. So thats why i ask my new shepherd to stop dwelling it, as if it come true, i am very scared that i cannot take the amount of responsiblility.

But, i prayed to the lord
IF you want this to happen, go ahead, show me signs and wounders about it to make me believe it and i will do your will in any way that it shall be achieve for the lord. AMEN.

then i ask my new shepherd, she wanted to sleep as it is 4+ am well then after that i when to sleep too, really having a enjoyable time talking to my new shepherd.

Thank God

spiritual giftings

2007-04-03T20:37:00.002-07:00

Score
Graph of Score
Spiritual Gift
Statement / Response
25
==========================
Poverty
22 = 5
50 = 5
78 = 5
106 = 5
134 = 5
23
========================
Missionary
19 = 5
47 = 5
75 = 5
103 = 5
131 = 3
23
========================
Craftsmanship
4 = 5
32 = 5
60 = 5
88 = 3
116 = 5
23
========================
Hospitality
13 = 5
41 = 5
69 = 5
97 = 5
125 = 3
23
========================
Encouragement
6 = 3
34 = 5
62 = 5
90 = 5
118 = 5
21
======================

My Lovely shepherd

2007-04-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

Today at i meet my shepherd at 1pm in the afternoon, we ate at BK. Then my sheperd like act blur refuse to tell me who my actual sheperd is but in the end she told me. Then after that we talk some spiritual stuff and our different charater in life.

I think its during this time i know my shepherd more. But i really want to see my shepherd serious and sharing more of her life to me. Becasue since she is so packed up with 4 sheeps including me and a Care Group, i want to be her support as well as her sheep.

So that when she is too stressed up or what, at least i can help her with God annointment. Amen. One most important i want to help is hype up the CG NP3 becasue i really cannot take it that God's people are so quiet. They must shout praise God to the fullest. AMEN

So my dear shepherd( ZeJun) you must also be high ok? Because at times i find that you also quite quiet for no reason.

But really thank God for you that you are actually so patient to me about my jokes and lameness. If you think that i need to change in this area, just tell me ok? I want to grow in the lord more and more and more.

NP3 look out for more handsome Guys and God's crazy Guys. AMEN.

My trust in you

2007-04-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

Many times i have failed you,
your grace is still there.
Many times i choose to leave you,
your grace is still there.

How much you trust me,
Is not how much i trust you.
At times you have the best plans for you.
But I just don't listen to you.

At the end, i suffered.
Instead of scolding me,
you comforted me,
Try to reason and explain to me.

Although i am not willing to listen to you,
But you always give me visions of what will i experience.
What else can i say God,
You are the person whom understands me the most.

So i decied to put my full trust in you,
I pray that you can use me,
Fill me, mould me,
into the person that you want me to me. Amen.

My NP friends (CG mates)

2007-04-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

Ming kuang - harry potter
Vincent - handsome
Augustine -
ZeJun - mummy
Josephine - nemo/others
ZhiGe - ice-cream(sorry)
Felica - Fel
Gary Mok - mokky
ZiJie - singer
Miao Wen -
Cindy(Big) -
Cindy(small) -
XuePing - flat snow

i think thats all hahax

My New NP Church Group

2007-03-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well after the last CG of NEE3 i have tranfered to a new poly group. Which i am very excited about it. I am excited to meet new friends, new people and mostly new ways to serve God. Then the NP group invited me for the Poly/DI camp.

Day 1
The people there are so nice. But i am so sorry to ZhiGe that i kept on calling her Ice-cream sorry. Hope that you can forgive me. Well on the first day, I know this brother very handsome, he is call Vincent. He go with me to the camp site and i am so happy becasue I can relate to him quite well. Then we have lunch, together with Vincent, Xue Ping, Josephine and ZhiGe but one funny thing happen is that our food kept on dropping on the floor well we have fun time joking around laughing about all my stupid actions and lame jokes.

At night, we have camp fire and the MC's request someone on the floor to go to the stage to perform something with the MC's, well to my suprise all the NP unit volunteered me and i am some how being peer pressured to go up to stage. Anyway i appericate the whole unit doing that, Thank you very much.

Well thats the first day. I almost know 75% of the NP group. This shows that i really step out my comfort zone to take initative to know people compared to my willingness to initiate last time, i improve alot more. Thank God.

Day 2 and Day 3
Actually there is not much to say. But most importantly, i learn and i have found out that God had something for us in our life and don't just like that waste it without doing and thing impactful. Instead, go all out for God placing God in the first in your life, blessing and joy will come to you naturally without begging.

Affirmation

Ze Jun
Well really want to thank God that you are willing to spent time talking to me that day until like 5am+, actually i feel very bad by drawing out your time talking to me. But, really can see your heart for God continue this kind of spirit and God will show you what you deserve in his kingdom. I know at times you will feel very tired as you are a ULA so you have to do all those adminstration things. You know pray before you actually start doing anything it really helps.

Vincent
Thank God that you are willing to open up and talk to me try to make me feel welcome by you and the Group. Besides, your Guitar skills are super strong. So much to learn from you. On top of that, you are willing to come for the camp for part time, due to your work, but really i can see your sincere heart of want to spread to gospel to the world. keep that up. AMEN.

Zhi Ge
Really Thank God for your patients you have for me because i kept calling Ice-cream and you are like not angry or what. Can see that your really asked God to give you patients that you have for me. Continue to be a great asher. I lost of words for you. I am like kind of guilty in my heart, but i will try to change.

What to do if your Love and Care is empty?

2007-03-21T02:51:00.000-07:00

What to do if your Love and Care is empty?

Can anyone answer this question?
Should I pray to God? Or should I ask for more in dwelling of love and care?
Should I act strong and continue to give the love and care to the people out there?
What should I do God?
Help?

I dont want my pride and face to affect my relationship with you.

Final gathering

2007-03-19T04:57:00.000-07:00

After stepping out of my house at 5pm i was woundering will the grads gathering be a good one to me or not. Well i was also woundering will my sheep enjoy himself and will grace go to the gathering or not. But to my surprise, Lester Wee came to the gathering well i was overjoyed and glad to see him becasue i still remember he attempt to kiss me at the june chalet.

Well i guess lame people are like that.

When i reach the chalet, on the first day, i still remember Sunny play Halo 2 with me. Then later after that I go play other games, will now then i know my drifting did not improve. Then when i go home about 9 i left the games at the chalet.

On the second day, when i reached only Zi jie alone owning the Xbox at the chalet the rest at escape theme park. Then when i play with Zi Jie the fighting game he own me using the stick person. Well i guess i so long never play that game so its ok. Then at night, we started the fire well it was quite ok. But i only eat abit only so sad i guess i play games until forget the hungryness in me. After that i practise my flute, well so sorry if i irritate you all at the chalet by my flute. Becasue i haven't practise for 5 days already, so i scared my skills drop. Well after the eating and playing. The people there just keep on playing playing and playing to entertain themselves. Till around 530am in the morning then we go and watch sun rise.

Then Lester ask me to statch his back that's like so cool. Next we began to splatter Jokes that make us laugh and keep us awake. We constantly did that for around 1 hour. Then the tides began to rise, the air turned moist and i can semll the saltyness of the sea, therefore i concluded that the sun is rising.

There are many more happenings but i lazy to write. Sorry.

The Cleverest Person In the world

2007-03-09T19:07:00.000-08:00

After completing reading the story book for around 2 hours, I have broken my personal record. This is the second time that i complete a story book within a day. Feeling so great after reading it.

After i have finished reading the story, i felt that the writer wants us to have our own ending to this particular story. Becasue the ending was like this:

Go away, all of you. I will not give you anything.
I cannot give you your childhood, Fatiha.
I will not give you thanks, Miss Hassan.
I cannot give you a job, Mr Zaki.
I cannot give you a friend, Ali.
I will not give you Love, Aisha.
I will not give you the truth, Pete.
Go away, all of you.

After reading this, I was thinking about this person who was the cleverest person in the world, was he guilty or was he unwilling to scarfice. Besides, this made me think that there are other better things to seek of instead of Knowledge, money and many more. In the end, the cleverest person in the world just ran out of the studio.

Then i was thinking, what about the other half of his life? will he be living in a place where no one knows him or will he suffer becasue of his unwillingness?

Well, there is so much question to ask, in fact too much questions. But no matter what, this story is interesting. This story made me learn so much things.
__________________________________________
People out there read more and you will learn alot of things.

Nursing

2007-03-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

After 2 day of the posting, i really hope that i can go into Biotechnology and as well as IBT (intellgent Building Technology). Initally, i was posted to Nursing. At first i felt that what happened why i got into nursing. But think back I sure that God will surely have a good plan for me going in Nursing.

Since i have appealed to Biotechnology and IBT, then i will leave the answer to God as where he want me to God, between Biotechnology, IBT and nursing.

After getting the posting and a long day appealing, I have a different perspective of nursing. I was thinking nursing was a stupid job for me, but the stupid person was me instead. Becasuse at that time, i was think how to win Bee Siew and Xue Wei in my life and how can i win them in the job of nursing. Instead, i was reminded that even though i do not win Bee Siew and Xue Wei in my studies, I can win them by impacting people's life. Becasue according to what Bee Siew want in 5 years down the road, is to study finish poly then start working. But as for me i am Going to impact people starting from right now.

By the end of my poly life, the number of people i have impacted will have many and compared to what Bee Siew says, actually i have achieve much more than them in life, not money.

Nursing gave me the impression of servanthood to serve the sick patients and by the word servanthood, not many people in earth actually are willing to serve a sick and weak patients who cannot control their bladders(some only). Besides that, what i think that the nurse to take care of the patients in the 3 areas of their life which are the spiritual, emotional and physical life.

I want to stress about the emotional life of a patient, it is a leading factor to contribute to other factors such as spiritual and physical life. Becasue, when a patient is hurt physically either badly or lightly, it thus lead to emotional changes and reaction.

The emotional changes is a part decisiding factor of whether the patient will heal quickly or not. So nurse must have the spirit of servanthood and willing in order to perform 100% effectively. This can impact peoples life by actually showing them that althought they seem hopeless but there are still people around you to help you and serve you. So do not take them for granted.

So nurses out there Serve your patients wholeheartedly with your willingness in it.
_____________________________________________
do you have what it takes to be a nurse?

My great shepherd

2007-03-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

Today i decided to blog about this shepherd of my who he took care of me since last year May. He is none other than Stephen Ng from NEE3. First thing i want to thank God for him is that he knows how to play guitar so when each time we have shepherding or personal meeting well i can worship isn't that cool?

When the first time i join the care group NED2, i don't even know who is my sheperd, but i got this super strong feeling that Stephen will be my shepherd. As soon as i know that he is my shepherd, i looking forward to met him and i told him that he will surely make a difference in my spiritual life and really it happen. If not because of his understanding, his constantly time spending, his care and concern, his theory of freewill, I might not be here serving the might lord our God, our saviour.

Well although, i sometimes might make mistakes, but you don't rebuke but you really took time to understand me, you even ask God is it your lack of teaching, your lack of something that casue me to make mistake. What can i say? You make me learn so much more that i ever imagine through the problems i face. You even encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone to serve God, his people.

I know sometimes my sheeps gives my sheep bites, I give you too. But you ask me not to take it for granted you warned me. Dispite me having sheep bites, you never failed to be by my side supporting with me, watching me cry, listening to my problems, the wanting attitude of helping me to solve my problem.

Remember the days, you and me studying together, you taught me to be humble. Looking at you studying, you really put 100% effort. Besides teaching me to be humble, you taught me that not to leave people out while studying, well so thats why i decide to open up my house for study group. Really missed the days we fellowship together so cloesly with my contacts.

Seriously, i am really greatful to you no matter you accept or not. I am really touched by your actions towards me, you have shown me how a Godly sheperd can be and what God had installed in me being a shepherd.

What i have through your life is
- servant hood
- Others first
- PS (partnership)
- SE (self-evaulate)
- GP(great passion)
- Willingness
- Able to give up for God

As for me, I am have nothing to say of being your sheep becasue you are so Godlike shepherd totally spirit lead by God. Amen. Continue to serve harder.

My friends that I really treasure

2007-03-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

I have many friends in my life so whom I really treasure.

Care Group friends
Well after I joined the new caregroup, NED2 now is NEE3, the fellow brothers there are so fun, loving and caring. People like Glen, Lester, Sunny, wow you cannot believe it. Their jokes were like super funny, they got the gift of making me laugh non stop. Besides that, we have Mokky and Me, i can really see his faith in God growing steady and at the same time he is also very caring and he knows his direction very well. At the same time,Joseph Lin and Tan, well they both are spiritual buddies, and sometimes they can crap very well too. Also not forgetting Jeremy, well he can crap too what makes him so special is that, when i am down, his joke will make me cheep up and happy too. Finally is our Care Leader, Alvin Koh he is so devoted to grow and see fruits I admired his passion and compassion for people.

MI friends
When i first know my Class, is 07A5 i was like ok my class, right. As i slowly go around the class talking to people then i know that my class was actually fun. Well i know of some groups of people and i dont belong to anyone of them accept Guys group. Anyway thanks to you all that make my first 3 months fun and interesting. Well people who are not in the same class as me also did some fun and interesting contirbution thanks. Espically those whom i can remember
by installing nick names for them

Vanessa aka Van
Melinda aka Mel
Dominic aka Dom
Jonathan aka Raja Baba
Ru'C aka Malaysia
Zarifah aka Flower
Wei Xuan aka Worm
Wee Teck aka We take
Jia Yu aka Fishy
Jian hao aka Woody
Zara aka Outstanding one
Ellen aka Small one(short)

Well thats all i can remember hahax if those i never write doesn't mean that i don't remember you is you don't have nick name so i dont put.

About my sheeps

2007-03-03T04:55:00.000-08:00

Well i have 3 sheeps last time but now they have ran away. Being understandable, i of casue dont blame them or push them anymore from coming to church. Since they are like 17, going 18 this year, well of casue i dont want to treat them like a child anymore. So i gave them their own freewill to choose whether they want to commit to God.

Well currently i have one sheep, and he is the one i really treasure and care for, becasue i dont want to lose him - friend, sheep, buddy. Of casue he is non other then Rayiant.

Rayiant
Firstly, I really want to affirm him, of his decision to come to know that God is actually real in your life and he yearns to be with you. Although you are a new believer in Christ, but i am sure you will grow in God. After you go to your poly group in church.

In addition, I really find your quietness special in you, becasue your quietness and my is totally different type. But one thing you did really well was that you are willing to trust me, by sharing some of your quite personal problems with me. Knowing that I wouldn't spread your weaknesses around. I know this is very hard for you to do it but at least you've tried to share your problems with me. I feel very glad for you.

Besides, I really learn from you quite a lot since I too care of you as my sheep. I learn to be a 'monkey' infront of you in order to cheer you up, hoping that you wouldn't dwell in your quietness. I also learn to step out of my confort zone to actually to talk to you. To keep you company. To me I dont feel burden but I felt joy everytime you react to my joke and my accompanyment.

Although, you gave me problems, not that kind of huge problem, but those problem which i need to think in order to answer you. Well seriously speaking, I love your questions becasue it all reminds me of how I serve God when I was new in the church.
_____________________________________________

But to me you are special. I really love you as my sheep and I really love being your sherperd

Lets begin.......

2007-02-28T06:42:00.000-08:00

When the first day, started
We are on fire, with passion
As time goes by, like water
So as my feelings.

I doubted you, instead of trusting you.
I want to hear you talk to me.
You just kept quiet.
I know you have many things to tell me.

I do not know if you are shouting to me.
But i just cannot feel you.
Why?
Where is my passion and love for you?

You did so much so much for me,
But i just too it for granted.
What am I?
Why am i like this?

O God please forgive me,
for I have abuse my rights in you.
O God please forgive me,
for I have betray myself.

Do not ever let me GO,
Don't leave me,
I want to hear your voice,
I want to feel your comfort.

Your sweet annointing,
Your amazing grace,
Your tremendous strength,
Your words of comforting.

Lord i want it back,
Lord i want it.
Throw away my present heart,
And renew me.

So from now,
Let me hear your voice,
Let me have your annointing.
Let me Begin a new life with you. Can I?
___________________________________________________
God i pray that you will renew me and give me a new heart.

I want to have passion for you, I want to have you back again.
Can you hear my Cry, can you??

Please talk to me GOD i want to hear your voice again.

Worldly and Biblical Principles on Relationship

2007-02-26T07:32:00.000-08:00

Worldy Values

Serve Self
As you know, human beings are basically selfish in nauture. As a coulpe gets together, they begin to spent more time with each other to meet their personal needs andbegin to neglect their friends and family

Love is a Feeling
Ofthen depicted in movies and mirrored by man as being "over the moon","pounding heart" amongest other sensations.

Emphasis on outward qualities
1) Physiscal - looks, dressing
2)Personality
3)Financial sercuitry/status

Anything Goes
Starting with the holding hands, to cuddling, kissing and steadily progresses to sexual intercourse. Initially, this may seem harmless, but before you know it, one thing has led to another. In the short term, there is satisfaction, but leads to suffering in the long run.

Independent
"live my life the way to want to", with no need to account to anyone. This is very dangerous for a relationship without covering. Often, those who refuse covering are very lonely couples as the have no one to turn in times of need.

Security and identity in someone
Men(humans) can be insecure.
We find security in - Self, others, possessions, power and position

One dominerring and another submmissive without questioniong party in a relationship
Man or woman dominating the relationship, wanting control over the other party.

Biblical Values

Serve others
Jesus come on earth to set the example for us. As the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, He came not to be served, but to serve.

Love is more than a feeling
Love is really about loving even when you don't feel like it on a particular day. Simply put, it's the taboo word of the day, 'Commitment'.

Emphasis on inward qualities
1)Godly Character over great personality
2)Spiritual stature over worldly wealth

Everything under control
Self-control is a virtue - Contrary to the world's view of self-expression

Spiritual Coveing - independent
As children of God, we are committed to watch out, advise and care for each other and to pray for spiritual covering. This is to help us avoid from falling into the area of sin.

Security and identity in God
As chirstians, our sense of identity and purpse comes from God. As we direct our heart to God first, as we are transformed by His love, we will then begin to accept and love others as we love ourselves.

Man lead lovingly, women submit willingly(with the mind engaged)
Man was made to lead and woman needs to submit under the authority of man. However, there needs to be mutual respect and love for each other.

___________________________________________________

Hey people, after reading this, I really hope that you can choose your parters wisely. Besides, I also hope that you can understand more about Relationship through this. Just remember Choose wisely.

The Best Expression of Love is time

2007-02-24T20:57:00.000-08:00

If you want to know a person's priorities, just look at how they use their time. Time is your most precious gift becasue you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can't make more time. when you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Love means giving up - yielding my preferces, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else

My friends in Millennia Institute

2007-02-23T10:22:00.000-08:00

Hey, 07A5 friends if you are reading this then i hope you wont forget who am i.

I still can remember (Girls) Melinda, Melody, Zara, LiHua, Jackerlin, Bernadette, Wei Xuan, Sam, Eunice, Gerry, Ru'C, ......... (Guys) Julian, Jonateen, 'D', Wee Teck. If i never mention your name doesn't mean i dont remember you hor. :D

Here is a poem for all of you 07A5
_________________________________________________________

Its due to destiny,
that we all meet.
Its you all,
Make a difference in my life.

Its my pleasure to know you,
Its my pleasure to understand you.
You all make me understand different school cultures,
You all make me learn ENGLISH.
_________________________________________________________

Hope that you all like my cards and the gifts that i gave you all. Miss You all so much lor.
__________________________________________________________

Zara - outstanding
Melinda - Understanding
LiHua - Flower
Wei Xuan - Scorpio lover
Ru'C - Malaysia house
Wee Teck - Great joker
jonateen - God's lover
Bernadette - Philosophy, Psychology, P??????
Gerry - God's lover, quiet Girl, round faced.

Pride = Loser

2007-02-22T10:45:00.000-08:00

Pride really kills.

For the book of Proverbs says
A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirits gains honor.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Please people out there, don't laugh or mock at your friends who does not share the same kind of wealth as you do becasue you will be laugh at your own weaknesses. Don't think that you can be strong, becasue you just simply cannot be strong as man/humans are not perfect.

( If you are really stong, prove to me by tearing down a mountain with your voice)

So the last will be first, and the first will be the last. (Matthew 20:16)
Befor his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before God (Proverbs 18:9)
The arrogance of man will be brought low and the pride of men humbled: the lord alone will be exalted in that day, (Isaiah 2:17)

Money VS Your Creator

2007-02-22T10:21:00.000-08:00

Which would you actually CHOOSE?

Money

People love you, use you, not letting you go.
But you don't feel loved when they use you.
You don't feel used when they use you.
WHAT are you?

If that is SO then why do you have value,
Is it an effect you create to let people worship you?
to throw away their life just to get you,
to work so hard just to have you?

You have of no value,
But people want you.
You have no worth,
But people is willing to work under you.

Tell me,
Just TELL ME,
What are you?
What are you?

Your Creator

People do not know where to find you,
Even if they do,
They just rejected you,
Why?

You created them,
But they are running away,
Aren't you Sad?
Aren't you Deeply hurt?

You can give them what they want,
FOREVER,
but in the end,
THEY still choose to run away?

They value Money, who is just a given value,

Than You, Our Creator.

My creator why is this happening,
Why?

Which one would you choose??

Your Creator OR Money

Sick

2007-01-25T02:06:00.000-08:00

When i woke up in the morning,
My head was struck,
I was in pain,

Praying out to God,
Asking me to heal me,
And he did.

Only God knew that I sick,
Who really cares about me,
When i am just only a sinner.

Only God said ask and you will recieve,
Who really will give me what I want,
When the world dont accept sinner.

God, how much you love me,
how much i have sinned against you,
you still love me, you still care for me.

All i can shout is AMEN,
AMEN,
AMEN.

A Day With Friends

2007-01-19T18:11:00.000-08:00

When i am with them,
You are there too.
When i talk and speak to them,
You stood beside me and heard the conversation.

Thanks for you always beside me,
Thanks for you always confort me,
I admit i sometimes will run away from you,
But you never let me go.

You never fail to leave me,
You never blamed me,
I am the best in your eyes,
Who can be like that but you.

My God, you gave me such a wounderful day,
How can i ever show my thankfulness to you,
How can i show that i really treasure you,
All i know is you have mould me to a better person.

I really love you GOD.

What My Life Will Be Without You

2007-01-15T04:01:00.000-08:00

looking up the sky,
Sighting in hope.
When I am lonely,
I dont have any friends.

When i fail all my tests,
When i fail all the things in needed to do,
People condenmed me,
People BLAMED me.

When i succeed,
Instead of looking up to me,
They talk behind me,
They refuse to be truthful to me.

When i tried to serve them,
they used me,
played me,
then throw me.

When i generate my love to them,
they seem not to understand,
they doesn't care,
they just push me around.

WHY? where is the true love,
true understanding of friends,
true and generous care,
true and fruitful fellowship?

My Faith in You

2006-12-19T09:34:00.000-08:00

How much i trust you,
How much i know you,
For all the things i have done before you,
You still care for me, for what am I.

How much i pray to you everyday,
When is the last retreat with you,
How much i meet you everyday,
How long i talk to you everyday.

I have done my best for your people,
and thanks for your blessing,
How can i give thanks to you,
How can i give glory to you.

Although I have failed you each,
and everyday.
But you still forgive me with each,
and every drip of chirst blood.

Your Love is unlimited,
but i can't do the best for you,
Your care is limitless,
and i have failed you.

What am i to you.
What am i to you.

My Lord the Mighty saviour

2006-11-12T09:02:00.000-08:00

When i was Born, you have know me.
Every actions i do, you have known them long before.
The decision that i have make, is what you have planned for me.
In all this, I give glory to you.

Before i came back, to you.
I am nothing but the living dead.
Walking down the road,
without anything filling in my heart.

15 years, i have lived in.
everything was so pain,
everything was so cold,
everything was so dark.

I didn't know that you are there for me.
I didn't know that you are just beside me.
I didn't know that you love me so much.
I just hope that someone can understand me.

Finally after the 15 years,
you have brought me back to you.
I am so glad that i chose you.
I am so glad that i came back to you.

Through you i see the light.
Through you i am filled with your light.
Through you i felt Love.
you are my everything.

You filled my loop holes in my heart,
You accompany when i am lonely,
You use people to encourage me when i am feel down,
You, You are my everything.

Where are you my friends

2006-11-08T04:18:00.000-08:00

A quiet person, looking at the world.
When he is lonley, who is going to accompany him?
When he is sad, who is going to know?
When he is moaning in his heart, who is going to care about him?

When everyone is out there celebrating,
Who is going to think of him?
When everyone is studying so hard,
Who would notice him?

When he is at home, He cries out in his heart asking,
Where are you my friends that truly cares?
Where are you my friends that really loves?
Where are you my friends?

Where is your heart?
where is your soul?
where is your care?
where are you?

searching through knowledge and wisdom, I cannot touch your heart.
searching through skies above and sea below, I cannot feel your care.
searching through multiple universes, I cannot see your soul.
searching deep in my heart, I can only find God.

My dear friends where are you?

My birthday today :D

2006-11-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

hehex no poems today liao.

Becasue today its my Birthday, so happy. Want to thank Zi Jie, Gary, Sunny, Thomas and there is one more can you guess who?? Its Stephen.

Well today wow i finally dont have the mood to study its a "Good" thing man.

Today history paper was easy but I wasn't quite confident leh. hahax. But why not move on God will surely help me.

well thats all I seem very normal today. But i learn to chrish each and everyday from now on. So matter what happens, look to God, and Seek him amen.

Alvin Koh

2006-10-31T18:49:00.002-08:00

Looking into your eyes,
I knew that you had a past.
Full of thunderstorm, and shipwreck.
But thank God that he have saved you.

Talking to you it seem that i can learn from you,
but in the actual fact i have learn alot from you.
Every different role you played in CG,
had inspired me to led the same way as you.

You have the looks,
You have the ability,
You have the skill,
that God had Given.

Mighty is the lord to save his people,
I can see your passion as you speak to his people.
The Lord brighten peoples day,
So as you annointed by God.

Your passion and your faith,
will help you in all situation.
Your strength in God,
will pull you up when you are down.

With your life example,
How can we not praise God.
With your life example,
How can we no need God.
___________________________________________________
hehex hahax a small poem for our care leader Alvin hahax thank you

Sunny Lim Chu Xuan

2006-10-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

Sunny, Sunny,Sunny,
Always very funny.
When i look at you,
you are very Sleepy.
__________________________________________________________

Hahax that one is sample hahax. Actually i was quite surprise when you read my blog, some more i did not ask you to go visit, but you took initiative to came and read my blog. Well thanks actually hahax.
__________________________________________________________

When I looked at you,
you seem quiet always.
But when I open up and started talking to you,
I am totally, amazed.

I am amazed by,
the way you speak,
the way you work things out,
the way you lead care group roles.

You have helped me understand that,
opening up is actually easy,
talking to strangers and people is actually easy,
leading roles are actually fun and enjoyable.

Althought you are not good looking,
but you are still my brother in NED2, (2006 Mid-year)
You are still my buddy that i can talk to,
You are still my someone that i can depend on.

So don't disappoint me but show me that you can,
don't talk to me but know me deeply,
don't feel warmth but the Godly warmth that God has given,
don't feel movativated but passionate with actions done.

Just remember you are Sunny,
that God has given you this wonderful name,
to shine as a leader,
to lead to rays into darkness to show that God is wonderful and purpose filled.
_______________________________________________________

Well Sunny hahax thanks for your encouragement and Sharing during the celebration althougth no presents but becasue of all the brothers that i had in the CG(NED2), God definitely place me here for a good reason. On top of that, all the Brothers gave me a sense of fellowship and happening filled place in this kindgom of God amen.

BY A BROTHER (RUI HAO)

MY LOVE LANGUAGE

2006-10-21T05:53:00.000-07:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Receiving Gifts
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Receiving Gifts:		9
Acts of Service:		8
Quality Time:		7
Words of Affirmation:		5
Physical Touch:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

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Friends (Eric)

2006-10-21T05:01:00.000-07:00

What did i do to make you feel this way?
What did i do to make you work this way?
What did i do to have you suffering in this way?
All i want you to is have your freedom.

When i ask you questions, i feel for you.
When i need company where are you.
When i want to clear things up, you said that i find trouble and argue with you.
When i come to you, you sweep me away.

How would i feel?
What could i do?
Why should i care?
For you.

Because of Chirst i Feel.
Because of Chirst i Do it for you.
Because of Chirst i Care.
For you.

I might be wrong sometimes,
I might be insensitive sometimes,
I might be careless sometimes,
But can't you accept that men are not perfect?

Why still dwell on the past,
Instead lets move on.
Why blame each other,
Intead accept each other.

There are many questions in my head,
Where did i do wrong?
Is it my fault?
What can to be my best of you.

Many times i feel like giving up on you, but i didn't.
Many times i feel like hitting you, but i didn't.
I ask myself i am i doing this to you.
It becasue of God.

So please, i beg you.
Don't dissapoint me,
Don't break my heart,
Don't make me feel that i am hopeless to you.

BY RUI HAO

Friends

2006-10-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

Are you important, important are you.
Looking at you, you gave me confidents
So glad to have you as my friend.
Did you treasure me or instead I am the one treasuring you?

You can give me peace,
you can give me confort.
How could i ever thank you?
How could i say that i dont love you?

Though many thing we have gone through,
through thick and thin we have survive.
Just becasue of your acts and doings,
our friendship will just end.

Is this how are you going to repay me,
Is this how are you going to thank me.
Is this how are you going to love me,
Is this how are you going to care for me.

We are the strongest, yet are the weakest.
we are the highest,yet are the lowest.
we are the closest,yet are the furthest.
we are the largest, yet are the smallest.

___________END__________________________

this is Rui hao writing to my best and Closest friend Bee siew.
this is a message to him.

Please,bee siew i know you have to play a great part in your family.
Which is a very unique but yet diffcult task.
I am sure GOD will make a way for you, but you also cannot break your promise.
Really i am not joking. Bee siew I really love you as a friend.
Dont dissapoint me again and again.

Because of your family responbility, you cannot trust God
Because of your great part in the family, you cannot trust God
Becasue of your results, you cannot trust God
All i want to say is that please trust God as he the creator and the guider of your life.

Pen

2006-10-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

Looking at you, you are just 16cm long.
Looking at you, you are going to decide the quality of my writing.
Looking at you, you are just so slim.
Looking at you, i dont know to smile or the shout at you.

Since i get hold of you,
i will use your talent.
Since i get hold of you,
i will use you fruitfully.

I need you daily,
I need your company.
I need your closeness,
I need your talent.

Sometimes i am sad, you cannot comfort me, but its ok.
Sometimes i am angry, you cannot calm me down, but its ok.
Sometimes i am frustrated, you cannot keep me stable, but its ok.
Becasue i understand you and understand me.

Although what you do is write, i still treat you as a friend.
Although what you do is write, i still make good use of you.
Although what you do is write, i still treasure you.
Although what you do is write, i still defend you at any cost.

All i want to say that is I really need you in my life as a student.
Thank you Partnership Everything New (PEN).

TEMPTATION

2006-06-25T07:33:00.003-07:00

Just as we were talking about temptation

Temptation is a word that even the most unchurched of people know in their hearts. We have all been tempted at times. Satan tempted even Jesus during His time of fasting and prayer in the wilderness [See Matthew 4:1-11 for the account]

Being tempted is not a sin. We are all being tempted from a wide range of directions at any given moment. The problem comes when we allow that temptation to dwell in our minds and hearts giving birth to sin and death.

James 1:13-15 NIV
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

The epistle to the Corinthians gives us encouragement though...

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

We can stand through the power of God. We can overcome.

Until next time, may you trust in Him and stand against the power of temptation.

Hallelu Yah (Praise God)

Be blessed, Pastor Kevin Corbin. UNQUOTE
_____________________________________________________
What i learn

I can't be tempted by God for he cannot be tempted
must stand firm in God's word whenever something is tempted
God will help you out through your temptation, provided you cling on to his word and pray to him

Today's service

2006-06-24T06:08:00.000-07:00

Today i really want to thank God that he gave me a surpise today,after playing initial D in the morning before service, coincidentally joseph (handsome) came and i saw him. At that moment, i was touched. I felt that God wants joseph (handsome) to accompany me to go to church.

Then i was surprise that Joseph (handsome) ask me whether i wanted to follow him to eat. With no hesitation, I immediately agree with him and followed him. I feel that Joseph(handsome) is a person who you can serious with him when he is serious.

On top of that, I think God spoke me, I should try my best to love people with all my might becasue with God he will surely make me succeed. AMEN.Then i responded to God's call. I asked him to give me faith, courage and patience to love all my contacts and backslider. AMEN